Tagged: childhood

“I am a Bear Apprentice in a Bear Market.” A Dream Interpretation.

Dear Satya:

Q: I am an apprentice bear following around an old grouchy bear who doesn’t want to be followed around. I am supposed to make Old Bear a meal of grass, so we go to a bear market. Nobody is very friendly, least of all Old Bear, and I have trouble picking up the grass from the vegetable coolers with my paws. We sit at a table in the back of the market because Old Bear knows everybody there and he lets me eat some of his grass and I get him to tell me some of his life story. I feel like I am finally making progress in my bear apprenticeship. Then we go sit outside on the grass, everything is so colorful. Both of us feel sleepy and accomplished and I fall asleep. Then there is a gun in my face! Two hunters are pointing guns at us. Old Bear tells me not to move, even though I wouldn’t have anyway. They tie his paws and then mine and they hoist us over their shoulders. Then I start flipping back and forth between being Young Bear and being myself at about age twelve (I’m now 20). I’m running after the hunters. Then I am 12 years old, barefoot, stopping suddenly: both of the hunters with their bears have disappeared. I stumble forward and realize we were at the edge of a ravine. There is no way either of the hunters had made it, carrying bears, but I can’t see any of them below. I stand up and it is very quiet, except for the sound of the water two hundred feet down. I feel very calm. 

A: What an incredible dream – and beautifully composed (I sadly had to edit down the richness of the original dream to make it suit our purposes here). I have a hunch this is a big “what-is-the-path-of-my-life” dream, so I’m going to do my best to give you a few toe holds here for your continued work. You’ll want to keep doing some exploration and amplification (research into the mythological and historical root of dream symbols). To get you off and running, this is some of what I notice in the dream…

I notice first that you are 20 and that you (in astute observation of the dream) are also 12 years old at various times in the dream. You are 12 when you find yourself staring down a ravine. A ravine is, concisely defined, “a deep, narrow gorge with steep sides.” It’s a scary place to be standing at the edge of, but you see that down there is water… the spring of life? A place for cleansing? A place one might hope to get to, after some effort and sweat and tears of the journey down…? What were your hopes for the future when you were 12? Where did you hope to get to after your dedication and effort? And what may have happened recently for that dream-for-the-future to be reignited?

Before you found yourself at this ravine in this dream, you were still 20 and were startled awake by serious danger. If we were working together therapeutically, I would want to explore at length with you what your major shocks have been recently, as well as traumas or shocks that occurred in childhood at this time. The sudden appearance of a gun in your face when you were blissfully asleep, resulting in the flip-flopping of age, suggests to me a major shock in childhood, something that took you by surprise and shattered your notion of what life was at the time. An existential tragedy and forced awakening? Alternately, this same image could be reflecting something that has happened recently that’s bringing your psyche back to those pastures of childhood, long tucked away and forgotten. Take some time to explore what this might be pointing to.

I’d be curious too about your mother and your relationship with her around that time and now. I mention your mother because the Bear symbol can represent Mother archetypally (the personal mother or the divine mother), but also because you commented on the mother-child relationship of bears in your response to my request for your associations. I must admit that I’ve been imagining a grizzly bear, although I realize I don’t know what kind of bear was in your dream… and this is a critical detail for understanding the meaning more. The specificity of different animals are important indicators of the specificity of instinct and behavior being mirrored in the psyche. Each animal reflects different parts of our instincts or body of our beings. In general, bears are not terribly social animals. In fact, after childhood and childrearing, they mostly live alone. Their true behavior is counter to their gathering together in your dream, so I’m curious about this incongruence. I wonder if you’re still seeking something from childhood that is incongruent to the stage of life you’re now in, and/or if you might be a more solitary person by nature than you have been allowing in your life.

In general, we are circling around issues of intimacy and relationship and how that all works for you as you come into yourself as an adult. (It’s notable too that the number 2 comes up so regularly in your dream. I wish we had more space here for all the neglected symbols!) I’m curious in the same vein about your current work environment and your history with mentors. My sense from the dream is that you are eager for a mentor and eager for someone to show you the way into life. You are seeking your way in the world and would love a wise mentor from whom to learn. Your eagerness seems not to be fulfilled, however. Have you made yourself content with scraps of mentorship, convinced they’re teaching you what you need to know? The image of Grouchy Old Bear might suggest a Mr. Miyagi character, a true master who is grouchy and avoidant until the student proves her unflappable dedication to his art. Is this the case? Or are you trying to remain optimistic when all around you is a reality of underwhelming mentorship? This will be up to you to feel out further. You may long for a Mr. Miyagi figure, as I think most youths do in order to find orientation and inspiration as they come of age. Have you found this person? Or should you seek him inside instead?

Ultimately, what we seek externally is for us to develop internally. Old Bear in this dream, and any guide figure, also reflects your own inner truth and wisdom center that leads you into the world. This dream may be reflecting your deep relationship with your own internal guide, your guide to “the source”, the creative, inspiring source of life reflected by the water in the ravine to which you finally arrive. Take some time to journal on how you know and trust that inner voice inside.

Finally, I wonder too about how your fears about money and financial stability are affecting you. Your dream tells you plainly that you are in a “bear market,” a quite literal note on an economic downturn that may be plaguing your sense of courage to launch into the world. It’s also worth noting that nobody is very friendly there! Bear Markets are not places we want to be when we’re trying to apprentice and find the right path.

You have chosen to learn about the art of being a Bear, my dear. Bears are deeply wise, maternal, and independent creatures. This is a soulful and rich animal that you seek to become. Take this as fact. You may not have found the right mentors or clarity of direction yet, you may not know how to trust the inner guide or which fears to fear and which to launch above. But my sense is that with enough effort and trust in yourself, you will find yourself on your own path, deep down that ravine near the source. After all, it is not until you are all alone in the dream that there is a sense of deep calm. No need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself. No need to face the expectations and demands of anyone, just the personal, incredible journey ahead. 

Have you had a dream like this? Leave a comment and share!

Satya is a Jungian psychotherapist in private practice in Portland, Oregon specializing in dream work, the quarter-life crisis, and work with individuals in their late teens, 20s, and 30s. www.QuarterLifeCounselor.com

“I’m at a Medieval Banquet of Shark Meat…” A Dream Interpretation.

Dear Satya:

Q: I’m in England and I’m walking through an old industrial area full of brick buildings. It’s early in the morning and I’m holding a number of shopping bags full of new clothes. I walk into a warehouse and find a large number of people sitting around drinking wine, as if from medieval times. They’re about to have a feast and I see that the main course is a great white shark. There’s a huge shark hanging from the ceiling, it’s still kind of alive, and gory. On the table, there are different kinds of cooked shark meat and people are piling it onto their plate. In another part of the room, there’s a cauldron of shark meat, bubbling.

A: Whoa! Girl! This is quite the archetypal dream! There is a profoundly timeless quality to this dream that beautifully presents the myth-making, storytelling, artistic quality of psyche. You can’t make this kind of imagery up, and it could seemingly be drawn from the dreamworld at any point in history.

Last week, I discussed the motif of being stung or bitten by an animal in a dream, and I almost commented in contrast on another major animal motif that your dream so starkly presents: that is, when an individual is eating a wild animal not typically found at the table (bear meat is a common version). The cooking and ingesting of a wild animal suggests a very engaged attempt to wrestle with something in your personality and in your history (as represented by the medieval nature of this dream). A feast is taking place in your inner world. Something from the depths has been brought to consciousness and is being taken in, consumed, digested, and deeply integrated. It is a time of celebration.

So why is it this particular animal that is so powerfully represented in this dream? The shark swims deep in the cold ocean waters, representing something found deep within our unconscious (perhaps from things stored away in childhood or from difficult events). Many things swim in the ocean, however, and certainly do not represent the same things. Were a dolphin to appear in a dream, for instance, the emotional resonance might be more joyful: one might ask what playful, kind energy in you has been buried out of reach? But the Great White shark is a powerful, fierce animal that many fear. Its nature as the King of the ocean might represent a father complex, whereas the whale commonly represents something in the unconscious to do with the mother. It could also represent emotions once buried deep from events in your life in which you felt in danger or threatened, feelings stuffed away because they couldn’t be consciously expressed at the time.

Is it anger? Fury? Fear? Power? This part of you and your past has come up from the depths, into consciousness. It is now on land, in a human environment, and is being cooked and feasted upon. The beautiful alchemical symbol of the cauldron in your dream reiterates this theme of integration. The act of cooking is preparation for digestion: things that were once separate are broken down, boiled together, mixed with water, cooked by fire, and prepared for full integration into our bodies.

Not surprisingly, you reported to me that you had a dream a few months back in which a shark was chasing you and you were terrified. This is how we see personal evolution represented in the dream world. Your relationship to this shark energy in your life has changed radically. Now, you’re ingesting its power and its fierce strength. You are no longer separate from the power that the shark represents, nor subject any longer to its terrorizing in your daily life. The girl from your past has stepped into a timeless archetypal realm and has been welcomed to a banquet. And how symbolic that she’s carrying new clothes! The way you present yourself to the world and they way you’re seen by others is changing as a result of this integration. Revel – like those at the banquet – in this transformation at hand.

Do you have a question about your dreams? Send me an email! satya@quarterlifecounselor.com

Easy sign-up to receive my weekly newsletter with the dream of a reader explored (that’s you!).

Satya is a psychotherapist in private practice in Portland, Oregon specializing in dream work, the quarter-life crisis, and work with individuals in their late teens, 20s, and 30s. For more information about therapy services in Portland, visit: www.QuarterLifeCounselor.com